If you discover that you have an STD while in a relationship, such as dating with herpes, it is crucial to have an open and honest conversation with your partner as soon as possible. Honesty is essential, even if you have not been truthful in the past. Your partner may experience feelings of upset or anger, and it can be challenging to navigate. It is vital to remain calm and present your case objectively. Taking a fact-based approach can help you avoid looking like you are judging or accusing.
It is normal to feel nervous or uncomfortable when talking to a partner about sexual health, STIs, and protection. It is important to create a comfortable and safe environment for both of you to open up and get the most out of the conversation. This can be a very intimate conversation, so making them feel safe and creating a space for openness is as important before intercourse as it is during intercourse. Having a plan in place can make the conversation easier.
Think about what you want to say and what you need to know about your partner. One way to start is to talk about the most recent STD test and ask if your partner has had one recently, suggests Planned Parenthood. Even if you don't know exactly how to do it, talking about STDs doesn't have to be a source of anxiety for you or your partner. Before talking to your partner, talk to your doctor about getting tested for STDs to learn about your health status and risks.
In addition, talking about STDs at the height of things can lead people to make decisions that they might regret later on. If you feel comfortable, you can tell them how you contracted the STI and how it affected you, if at all. That's why doctors recommend that people who have sex (or who have had sex in the past) get tested for sexually transmitted diseases. When you're in a new relationship, topics like screening and STD prevention may not seem like the most fun or comfortable to discuss, especially with all the misinformation and stigma surrounding sexually transmitted infections.
However, it is important to have this conversation before having sex with a partner. If you think you have an STD or have questions about STDs, talk to a doctor, sexual health clinic, or student health center. Having an open dialogue with your partner about sexual health can help both of you feel more comfortable and confident in your relationship. It is important to create a safe space for both of you to open up and get the most out of the conversation.
And once you know your status, don't stop talking about STDs; it's best to have this conversation before having sex with a partner.